the ghost of bloody Mary

Halloween is drawing near and so talk at school has turned to ghosts, one ghost in particular, the ghost of bloody Mary. Not as I had assumed the vile hangover following a few too many tomato juice & vodkas but an actual ghost who haunts the boys bedroom.

She came home from school with him yesterday after a day filled with scary stories. She is now a firm fixture behind the curtains, possibly in the wardrobe and sometimes under the bed waiting to drag the boy from his covers in the dead of night and into the underworld. She casts all manner of terrifying shadows and has been known to whisper evil things in demonic dog like voices….

I’d like to thank Mary personally for making my bed even more crowded than usual. I just love it now there’s one more in there with us, sleeping with just the baby and a husband wasn’t quite squashed up and uncomfortable enough. I like to have half my body hanging off the bed, I enjoy sleeping with one foot on the floor in a desperate attempt to hold on to a remaining few inches of bed with my name on them and now thanks to bloody Mary that’s all the more possible.

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paying for homework…

It’s true. I have no shame. I pay my child to spell his words correctly in his spelling tests.

After months of quite honestly pitiful scores, we now enjoy a 100% pass mark in the weekly spelling test and all because I pay for results. I’ve made a little bargain with the boy that if he tries hard as opposed to not trying at all I’ll pay him an amount per correct spelling.  I like to think it’s educational…. after all receiving payment for your efforts has to be an important life skill, yes? Either that or I’m guilty of bribery and corruption… but even that has it’s up sides, he’ll be well grounded for a career in banking, politics, journalism….

For now I’m more than content handing over the 2p for every correct spelling and overly smug that he spells so cheaply.

the random questions of a 7 year old boy…part 2

This week the boy has wondered…

  1. What is a widget?
  2. Who is Major Tom?
  3. When you’re a genius do you need to have really neat handwriting like my teacher says?
  4. How much longer is it until David Cameron stops and we can have a new Prime Minister?
  5. If yesterday was today what day would it be tomorrow? What day is it again today?
  6. What do I need to study at school to get a job as a Lego creator?

and my answers….

  1. A widget is a special little ball they put in Guinness so that it pours out nicely, daddy can probably help you further.
  2. Major Tom, well he’s a fictional astronaut, David Bowie made him up.
  3. Your teacher is wrong in this case, geniuses can have any handwriting they choose, as in fact can anybody, it’s just that teachers like neatness and to be honest aren’t that big on the creation of genius especially when they don’t fit the neat mould…
  4. Well unfortunately not until May 2015…. unless there is a vote of no-confidence, which I doubt there will be because this is the era of apathy.
  5. BANGS HEAD ON WALL
  6. Lego creators are more than likely going to be good at maths and science and art…. just try to do your best lovely.

I just love the boy and his wonderings….

the random questions of a 7 year old boy

This week it’s included…

This is a short list of the random things I’ve been asked this week by the boy (age 7  and a tiny bit)

  1. Can a pelican turn its beak inside out to itch the inside of its mouth?
  2. Where is that mug I got, the one I got with my smartie Easter egg or was it buttons, I think it was a mug, it could have been an egg cup… anyway where is it?
  3. Guess what the only flavour of crisps is that I don’t like – it’s any flavour which isn’t cheese or onion.
  4. Is 2012 an actual real number like in counting or is it just a made up one for an advert?
  5. Which part of the pig is it’s bacon?
  6. What is a tight meff?
  7. Are those people over there cannibals?

And my answers…..

  1. Probably not but we could google and see for sure.
  2. It will have more than likely fallen out of the cupboard and sadly broken, mummy remembers being very upset about it.
  3. Oh. okay.
  4. It’s an actual number like 2011, 2012, 2013 (continues counting to infinity)
  5. Please can we speak about it later as now your sister is hysterical about animal welfare and won’t eat her lunch.
  6. A quick search of the Urban Dictionary online would lead me to believe it is an alcoholic homeless person and the word originated in Liverpool.  As in “look at that guy, he’s a proper meff”.
  7. No, I actually think they are just kissing and should probably get a room.